


Keeping Mom

by loisselina (LoisSelina)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Daddy Charming, Drug Use, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Grandparent Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Grief/Mourning, I promise a fluffy ending, Loss, Loss of Parent(s), Not Really Character Death, Parent Prince Charming | David Nolan, Parent Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Post-Underworld (Once Upon a Time), Protective Parent Prince Charming | David Nolan, Robin Hood Lives, Season 5 AU, Separation Anxiety, Snowing - Freeform, Terminal Illnesses, Trauma, Underbrooke, Underworld, Underworld (Once Upon a Time), anti Captain Hook, anti captain swan, but its going to hurt like hell, hades fucks off, major character death but not really, mama Snow, original prince james - Freeform, pun inteded, wizards of waverly place theme- everything is not what it seems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-03-01 08:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoisSelina/pseuds/loisselina
Summary: A longer rewrite of my Charming Family drabble of the same title.Post-Underworld Au Snow falls seriously ill and is joined in her last moments by her family.Or at least they assume they're her last moments....Emma isn't so willing to give up on her mom that quickly....





	1. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 1

 

They had encountered many new and terrifying monsters while in The Underworld, and many of the humans there weren’t much better, but they had all followed Emma when she had asked, she didn’t have romantic feelings for Hook anymore but she still felt it was her fault. Snow had known how much it hurt, guilt, she had felt it when she had tricked Regina into killing Cora. They had seen her down there too, she was just one of their many relatives down there… David’s twin was down there too, though he eventually realised David hadn’t done anything wrong, he was still down there not yet ready to pass on. He told David that he’d try to make Underbrooke a better place, now Hades was gone for good, but he promised them that he would see them again.

They only had an hour to find the portal home, they were being chased by tiny but deadly monsters as they ran, they only just made it home. Regina first, while Snow brought up the rear, she made it through a second after David, a second before the portal closed.

Then Snow collapsed. 

* * *

 

Emma sat in the waiting room, staring interchangeably between down at the vinyl flooring, the blue flecks against the light grey background, and at the white paint walls, over the hours she found all the imperfections.

They had followed Snow and David around so many different wards, different specialists from even more departments rushed in and out, they just sat in identical waiting rooms. This one was finally an inpatient one. Emma had been silent since they had split from David and Snow.

Nurses were at the nurses’ station, talking, there was no gossip, just a sombre mood among their conversation which had come with one of their rulers being wheeled past.

She could hear Neal cooing in Regina’s arms. Henry was next to her, talking to Regina and Neal on his other side, but she felt far away from them all.

Hook had sighed heavily as she had ignored his outstretched hand, he went off and sat heavily in the corner, with his hip flask.

Her eyes brushed over the window into the private room. The blinds were shut but Emma could make out Snow’s shadow sat up in bed, David’s was next to her, they were facing a doctor and a nurse. The shadows moved so that David and Snow’s merged. They were hugging. No. They were holding onto each other for dear life.

Her eyes returned to the floor. She started counting the specks again.

One.

Two.

_Don’t think._

Three.

Four.

_Don’t think about mom._

Five.

Six.

* * *

 

Sometime later, once the nurses and doctors had finished, and David and Snow had spent some time with just one another, David walked out of the room.

His eyes stung with tears which had long since fallen, his eyes were bloodshot, and his ached. Regina looked at him, he could see her eyes searching his face for an answer as to what had happened, her face turned to one of shot. He gave her a tight closed mouth smile to thank her for staying with the rest of his family. He made his way over to Emma.

Emma heard the footsteps, she had been listening to everyone who had past, but these ones she knew by heart. They were her father’s, but she didn’t look up, is she didn’t look up nothing bad could happen. A perfect bubble of ignorance.

David crouched down in front of her, his hand touched her knee, forcing her to look up at his face. She had never looked so young. The back of his fingers brushed her cheek. “Hey kiddo.” He gave her a soft and loving smile, the same he would a child or scared animal, she was terrified and he didn’t blame her. “Your mom wants to see you and Neal for a little while.” He purposely kept his voice light and gently. He stood up and held his hand out to her so she would have no choice but to take it. He pulled her up and quickly kissed her forehead before scooping Neal up from Regina’s arms. He ignored his step-mother in-law’s questioning look. Snow’s kids needed to know first.

Emma’s heart was hammering in her chest, she was surprised that everyone couldn’t hear it, that doctors weren’t rushing over to see the cardiac emergency. She couldn’t breathe. The distance between her mom’s room stretched and shortened. She wanted her mom. She wanted to run. Suddenly a large hand landed on Emma’s back. It took over her whole shoulder blade. David. Dad. Her breathing slowed, a little closer to a normal pace, her whole body swayed to lean closer to her without her consent.

David took a deep breath, cuddling Neal closer to his chest, he felt the natural instinct to want to protect his kids from anything which might hurt them, including this. He rubbed a circle onto Emma’s back. He paused staring down at his two kids, without thinking he hugged them closer to him. Neal made insistent noises at him, as though he was demanding to know what was going on, David figured that he had picked up on things being different.  Emma looked back up at him as though she didn’t want to look up at him, her big green eyes a mirror image of Snow’s, she had never looked so young to David.

“Mommy’s missed you two so much today, we both have.” His tone was probably more suited for Neal but it was the one Emma needed at that moment. He looked at Emma lovingly. “I texted Regina asking her to take you lot to get some food, she said you wouldn’t budge.” Even in Underbrooke in the height of danger Emma didn’t turn down food. “You need to eat, princess, you haven’t since we were in Hell.”

“ ‘m not hungry.” Emma mumbled.

David frowned, he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to persuade her to eat any better after the news she was about to be told, but he knew she needed to know as soon as possible. “Okay, we’ll get you some food a little later on.” He gave her a look telling her that he was serious. “Come on, kiddos, let’s see mommy. We need to talk.” David led his children into the room. Guilt filled him, knowing that the information would change their lives forever, it was inevitable.


	2. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma struggles with the news about her mom.

Snow’s head shot back up when she heard the door opening. She felt numb, almost like she had been on paused since David had left the room, she had just started to make a list of things she needed to do in her head. So much needed to be done. Too much.

 

* * *

 

 

She watched David shepherding their children into the room, Neal was making a lot of noise, making up for how quiet and subdued Emma was. Her eyes met her husband’s eyes, they were both so scared, there was so much to be scared of, especially how Emma was behaving and how she would behaviour in the future. They were parents, they would put on brave faces and support their kids, they could be scared later. “Hello my babies.” She greeted warmly. She didn’t miss David having to gently push Emma forward towards the bed.

David placed Neal into Snow’s waiting arms before running his hand through Emma’s hair.

“Emma, sweetie, come sit down with me.” Snow beckoned her, she scooted over so that Emma could sit beside her. She saw Emma looking hesitant so she took hold of her hand and tugged it so she would sit on the bed with her, Neal in her arms, she cuddled Neal close to her staring down at him in wonder before looking over at Emma concerned. “Sweetie, you look tired, you need to get some sleep, you didn’t sleep at all while we were away from Storybrooke.”

“I’m not tired.” Emma’s voice betrayed her exhaustion.

A flicker of a smile appeared on David’s face at his girls, how selfless Snow was, and how Emma was stubborn just like the two of them. He shared a look and smile with Snow, letting her know that they’d get her to later, he’d make sure of it. He brushed his hand through Emma’s hair again before sitting on the chair beside the bed.

Emma looked at her mother, biting her lip, she tried to plaster on a hopeful look on her face by the time Snow looked back at her- but she wore her heart and worry on her face.  “When are you coming home? Soon, right? I can make Whale let you leave.”

Snow let out a small laugh, she couldn’t help but to at Emma’s offer, she was fairly certain that Emma would have tried to force Whale to let her go home. She’d already asked but Whale advised her that it would be best if she stayed there. “That’s what we need to have a little talk about, hon.” She took a deep breath. Then brushed hair back from her face. She and David had been planning on how they were going to break the news but she just couldn’t start. “Emma.” She sighed in sympathy of what was to come, she had lost her mother too, decades ago, but the pain was still raw. Especially right now. “Whale think’s that I picked up an illness while in the Underworld, that’s why I fainted when we got back, we think that the other realm was hiding the effect somehow.”

“So… you’ll get antibiotics? Or steroids? Or something and you can come home. We’ll make sure you rest. Lots. And then you’ll be fine.” Her mother wasn’t saying anything, she hadn’t even been told anything yet, but she had a feeling what it was. It was the same way some of the better foster parents would start talks about her leaving. “You’ll get better.”

Snow choked back tears at how small Emma sounded. “You’re so sweet baby.” She wrapped one of her arms around her. “And I love that about you. But they’ve run every test they can, and we talked to Gold, and the fairies.”

“I didn’t see them checking you. Regina didn’t. She could find a potion or-“

“-Emma. It’s terminal… and advanced….” Her heart broke for herself but mainly for her family. For her daughter. But she had to be firm. She didn’t want to destroy how hopeful her daughter had become, but she needed to get through to her, to make sure Emma was there to have their last moments together. She’d regret it otherwise. “…I’m sorry baby.”

A pregnant pause hung in the air.

“Whale said I have a little bit of time left, a perfect week to spend with my family-”

Emma shook her head adamantly. “No! _No._ I’ll find away. _We’ll_ find away. You’ll be fine. I’m not going to let you just _die_. _You’re not even trying.”_ She was shouting by the end of her sentence.

“ _Hey._ ” David said warningly. He knew from Emma’s verbal sparring with him on the day of Neal’s birth that when she was scared and stressed she tried to shove people away, but he wasn’t about to have Emma say something she’d regret… or push Snow away in her last week. His stern tone was enough to make Emma look at him. He levelled her with a look for a few seconds before he spoke again, this time his voice was soft. He understood. He had been her age when he had lost his mother, but he had at least had the hope of Lake Nostos that he could save her, and he had his fiancé/wife. Emma had just found them, then forgot them, then found them again. She couldn’t lose her mom. “Emma, we’ve tried everything, you have to believe us. Your mom would never choose this. She wouldn’t choose to leave us.” His voice broke. “She wouldn’t choose to leave you.”

“She already has, twice, why not make it three.” She shouted angrily. She wanted to fight her mother’s illness, to find a cure, but she couldn’t fight the illness there was no way it’d work. She needed someone to fight. If she was angry she wouldn’t feel the pain.

“Emma Ruth Swan!” David shouted his tone was clipped and final. He could see the tears in his wife’s eyes and he couldn’t have her so upset. “You know full well that your mother would not _choose_ to leave you, if she had any other choice, she never has. I understand that you’re upset, we all are, but you are not going to be taking it out on your mother. Do I make myself clear?”

Emma levered her father’s ‘dad look’ with her own angry glare.

“Emma.” Snow said gently. She knew her husband and daughter well enough to know that neither was about to back down.

“No!” Emma exploded. “No. I’ll do nothing and then you’ll just leave me again. See if I care! I don’t need you anymore! I don’t need anyone.” She slammed the door as loud as she possibly as she stormed out.

 

* * *

 

“David.” Snow’s voice cracked. She held her hand out to him and took hold of it when he walked close of it. “Go after her, please. She’s just scared, she feels guilty, she’s just…. She’s a kid. _Our_ kid.”

“I know.” David sighed. “She was still wrong to do that. And you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.” He brushed his thumb across her cheek and watched her look like she was about to protest. And a flicker of a smile appeared on his face. “I know you too well. You can’t hide your feelings from me.” He ducked his head down and kissed her lips gently before he gently stroked Neal’s head. He sighed and looked towards the door. “I should go and talk to Emma.”

“I just wish…” She trailed off, looking down at Neal sleeping naively in her arms, then at the closed door.

David kissed the top of his wife’s head. “I know.” He said understandingly. They didn’t need words to be able to understand what the other was thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Emma doesn't mean what's she's saying she just has a hard time expressing her feelings, luckily her parents understand that.


	3. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David talks to Emma.

As David drove through the heavy rain, he couldn’t fully dispel his anger, frustration really, but it was lessening thinking about Snows’ words. Snow was always telling him that he and Emma were alike, he supposed that was true, he knew how Emma would react because of it. He knew that Emma found this all even harder to deal with, it was like telling a kid that their mom was dying, it would be hard for anyone let alone someone who hadn’t emotionally developed like most other people due to her childhood. …. That all being said she didn’t have to take it out on Snow of all people, she could have taken it out on him, anything so long as Snow didn’t have to hear it let alone have it directed at her. She should know by now that neither of them would leave her out of choice.

He was going to lose his wife. He felt like the ground was falling out from underneath his feet. His heart was tearing itself apart. It felt unreal but inevitable. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

In the hospital, Gold had puffed in out between the hospital and the library where Belle was helping him search for a way to save Snow. Once they had realised there was absolutely no way to save Snow, and Whale had broken the news, Snow had made sure that David would be okay. They shared a heart and she needed to know that nothing was going to happen to him, that their children weren’t going to be orphaned, so they ran all the tests they needed to.   
He hadn’t left her side as she argued with him until she had finally got him to promise that he’d look after their family, he’d grieve and move on, he wouldn’t go and try and find him in the Underworld, he would not be there.

He would not be affected by Snow dying… at least not physically. He would live. The love of his life would die. And he would live.

His windscreen wipers were working in overtime yet David still had to squint out of the window through the dark as he tried to get a glimpse of Emma. He started to go through the list in his head, the usual places he’d search for someone. Her favourite places were few: He ruled out the loft straight away as it was literally too close to home, Granny’s he ruled out because it was somewhere they always went as a family, not to mention Ruby and Granny knew her too well and would notice something wrong with her straight away, he thought briefly about checking the station but she already felt as though she was being abandoned and he was almost completely certain that that would feel even more so going to a place where she could see a cell. He found himself driving to the docks, it felt like a lifetime ago that the two sat in the same place talking about Neal, the first Neal, and Henry (or Pan disguised as Henry). But they mostly talked about Emma remembering that everything, good and bad, made her life special. He was struggling to find the good moments right now.

He was not sure if he was surprised or not to find Emma there, he hadn’t even checked anywhere else, when he saw what looked like a curled-up pile of clothes watching the water.

David sighed and hurried out of the car over to his daughter.

 

* * *

 

 

Emma’s knees were pulled up to her chest with her arms crossed around them. Her head was hidden in the folds of her arms. She was shaking like crazy but David couldn’t tell if that was because she was crying or if it was because she had gone out without a coat or even a jacket, just a t-shirt on. He had never seen her look so young. David’s anger dissipated completely. He sat down on the bench, the rain pounded down on them, but Emma didn’t notice him sitting there or the rain for that matter. He tapped her on the shoulder.

Emma looked up, she managed to see her father through her cheers, it took her an eighth of a second before she unravelled, threw her arms around him and buried her head against his chest with such enthusiasm that she almost knocked him off the bench.  

David engulfed her in his arms, they wrapped around her strongly and securely, and he rocked her comforting like he would Neal. Side to side. Comfort as she bawled into his shoulder.

Neither noticed the rain sticking their clothes to them.  

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually Emma stopped crying and a short while after that she pulled her head out from where she had it hid, so instead it was just laying against his chest.

David looked down at his daughter, loving yet pityingly, he could feel her shaking like crazy in his arms. “Em, you’re freezing, let’s get you into the car baby.”

Emma shook her head and clung onto his clothes as tight as she could so he couldn’t move her.

David sighed gently, he knew that he was strong enough to carry her to the car, he didn’t want her to spend too much time in the rain but he needed to be gentle with her. He knew that Emma had lost her temper in the hospital, but maybe so had he, they were both going through hell with losing Snow but he wished he had tried to be gentler on her. “Okay.” He said softly. “Okay, you need to put my jacket on then, otherwise you’re going to get sick baby.”

Emma eyed him carefully as she chewed on her lip, looking so young, she slowly nodded and let go of him.

David slipped his jacket off and helped her into it, once her arms were in, he zipped it up to try and get her to remain at least a little dry though he knew that that was redundant. “I think we need to talk, Emma, don’t we?” He brushed a strand of hair, curled by the rain and trailing even more water along with the rest of the rain and the tears, from her eyes. He watched her face edge with fear as she swallowed. But she was still his brave Emma as she nodded, though he was certain the second to last thing she wanted to do was talk about it, the very last thing was for her mom to die at all.

Emma was relieved that David made sure to keep her close. She didn’t think she’d be able to cope if he wasn’t. She’d fall apart. She needed him to ground her. “I’m sorry.”

Emma’s voice sounded so small that it broke David’s heart. “I know sweetie.” And he did, she wouldn’t be sat crying in the rain, and clinging onto him like a little kid. His blue eyes stared into her green ones, which were so like her mother’s that it hurt his soul. “You know that your mother isn’t leaving you out of choice, right, kiddo? We searched for a cure, the hospital ran a million tests all over the hospital, that’s why we had to keep moving around the hospital, I know you didn’t want to go to Granny’s with Regina and the other kids that’s why you had to keep moving around the place too.” He didn’t notice that he lumped her in with the kids too, but that’s who she was to him, it was even harder to distinguish her from them when she was acting like she was younger than Henry. “We got help from Gold and Tink and Nova, they all puffed into the room we didn’t want you lot to worry before we had any answers, they…. T-They couldn’t find any magical solution… or any solution. I’m so sorry baby. I’d give anything for there to be one, I’d walk through Hell and back, again. But your mom doesn’t want that, she’s not sticking around the Underworld, that’s just not her. Your mom wants to be surrounded by us, all of us, not alone while we all sit in a library away from her and still find nothing. She’s not giving up, princess, she’s just making the most of her time with the ones she loves most. Especially you and Neal.”

“I know.” Emma murmured taking a shaky gasp as she tried to hold back the tears. “I just…. I don’t want to lose my mom….” She couldn’t hold back the floodgates any longer and she burst into tears again. “It’s not fair.”

David pulled her back into a tight hug and he started to rock her once again, his hand on the back of her head, as he always did when she needed him. “I know baby, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay. I’m here. Daddy’s here.” He knew it wouldn’t be okay though. Not for a long while. She was right, of course, it wasn’t fair, not even a little bit. They hadn’t had enough time, together as a family, he doubted that they ever would. He was losing his best friend. His kids were losing their mother.

They sat for a few minutes, Emma sobbing as David rubbed her back, and silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

David’s tears subsided before Emma’s did but eventually she had calmed down enough that he could move her enough that he could look in her eyes. “Come on, kiddo.” He knew that she wasn’t ready to go back to the hospital just yet. “We need to stop off at home for some changes of clothes for us all, and some stuff for Neal, and you could do with drying off from this rain. Then we need to get back to your mom.”

“She won’t want to see me. I was horrible to her, why would she want to see me ever again?” Her voice was cut with grief but she allowed her father to pull her up.

“Your mother understands, Emma, and she will always forgive you. She always, always, wants to see you, you’re her daughter, she loves you with all her heart.” Her wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he led her to the car, where he blasted the heat, and drove back to the loft.


	4. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow talks to her son and her step-mother

 

Snow sighed gently as David left the room. She understood how Emma felt, she remembered feeling angry at her mother for dying though her mother (and later she) understood that it was grief and sadness not actual anger. She understood that now like her own mother had before her and hoped Emma would understand that later, without feeling too guilty. She looked down at her son in her arms as he slept. She would miss raising him too, just like she had with Emma, but at least this time he had David. And he had Emma, too, but she had a feeling she would need just as much support as the baby. She trailed her finger down his face.

“I’m so sorry, my baby boy, this wasn’t meant to happen. We were meant to have a long and happy life together as a family. I was going to teach you how to sit up, and watch you crawling around. Then mommy, daddy, Emmy, and you were all going to move into a house, and Henry would come visit us loads but he’d also live with his other mommy. Mommy and daddy were going to compete and see whose name you said first, we always compete over everything, mommy sometimes lets daddy think he won. It was going to be dada, I’m sure, it still will be… I’m sorry Neal, I wish I could… well….” She sighed, it was only too clear what she wished, she wished she could live… but she didn’t get a choice in the matter. “I’m sorry I don’t get to watch you turn into the brave, smart, talented, kind boy and man I know you are. Always be kind baby, no matter who it’s to, because you never know who has no one being kind to them… But most of all don’t be scared or sad without mommy, Daddy will tell you a million stories about our adventures, he’s the best storyteller I know you’re going to be a very lucky little boy.” He snuggled closer to her in his sleep and she pressed a kiss to his forehead and took in his baby smell. “I love you so, so, much my cuddly little teddy bear. More than life. You are one of my three true loves. I’m so happy that I got to spend the time with you I did. I will watch down on you and you’ll always have me in your heart.”

She stared down at him as he slept, she waited for some news from David or for he and Emma to walk through the door, but she was happy to spend some time just watching her baby. She wanted to remember this. Eventually she tore her eyes away from him and grabbed a piece of paper and pen from where they were on her over-bed table. She started to write.

 

* * *

 

Regina watched Emma storm out of the room and down the corridor, clearly extremely angry, and David follow her not long after and looking only a fraction less angry.   
She watched Hook grow more uncomfortable with Emma not being there. She suggested that he go home and he refused, saying he’d go with Emma when she came back as she clearly didn’t want to be there, Regina couldn’t refrain from rolling her eyes at him for assuming that just because she was angry she was going to avoid her family. There was clearly something bigger going on. And she had a sinking suspicion about what it was.   
She managed to convince him to be checked out by a doctor just to get him out of the way.

She looked down at Henry, he had his head on her shoulder and her arm was around him, how they used to sit when he was little and they had to wait around for hospital or doctors’ appointments, whatever he needed comfort for. He had grown so much since then, but at his core he was the same, he was still a child. She kissed the top of his head, and he looked up at her, he looked both old and young at the same time and extremely tired. She knew that he wouldn’t sleep before seeing his grandmother. “You need to eat.” She told him in a both kind and firm voice. “Here, go and get some things made almost entirely from sugar from the vending machine.” She handed him some money from her purse. “I’m just going to talk to Snow, wait for me back here, okay?”

“I want to see her.” Henry insisted.

“I know you do, just be patient, I’ll talk to her. Just stay put okay?...” She looked over to where Hook’s injuries were being treated by a nurse, they were worse than they looked, most of them just needed to be cleaned. She looked back at her son. “And don’t listen to anything Hook has to say.”

“To say about what?” He tilted his head in confusion, an expression inherited from his mother and grandparents, though he didn’t have any intent to listen to the pirate.

“Anything. Ever.”

Henry bit back a smile, he had been trying to get along with Hook for his other mother’s sake, but he certainly was not a fan. “Sure mom.”

* * *

 

Regina thought about knocking on the door to Snow’s room, but decided against it, she normally just walked into Snow’s loft she knew everything would be changing and didn’t want to make things even more different. So, she opened the door and shit it behind her.

She looked at Snow sat in the bed, she was still watching Neal, there were tears in her eyes. She may have been used to Snow being all… _emotions_ … but this was different. She could feel it in her bones. She coughed to get her attention. “Snow?” She walked closer to the bed, her voice was soft, and she kept her eyes upon Snow. “What’s going on?”

“I erm…. When I passed out the doctors ran some tests, a lot of tests actually, and it turns out that I picked something up they’re not sure if it was in the Underworld or Storybrooke… or if it developed naturally, they’re not sure… All they know is-”

“- No. Don’t you dare say finish that sentence. You’re Snow White, you don’t give up, you never get up. you’re annoyingly persistent. Don’t you dare.”

Snow couldn’t help but smile. “You sound like Emma. I’m not giving up. But there’s nothing that they can do. I’m not giving up, but I’m allowing myself to be at peace with it, surely you can understand that?” She saw Regina look like she was about to interrupt so she shook her head just a little to stop Regina from opening her mouth. “If this was you and there was no way that you’d live, _you_ would be happy sitting alone in a hospital room and let all of us, _your family_ , regret not spending time with you while we could? I don’t want my family, _Emma and Henry_ , to regret not being here. I can cope with this so long as I don’t have to cope with them feeling guilty.”

Regina sighed she knew that her stepdaughter was right. She would have done the same thing if she was in Snow’s shoes. She wouldn’t have wanted Henry to have to go through the feelings of guilt and regret if she were the one dying. She was grateful that Snow wanted to protect Henry as well. But she didn’t want Snow to die, not only because she liked their friendship as it was now, but because (despite all the times she had tried to kill her) Snow would always be her stepdaughter. She sank into the chair beside her bed with a sigh. “I presume that’s why I saw Emma storming out of here.” She watched Snow nod and she nodded in return, realising that Emma must have thought the same as she had, only worse as this was Emma’s mom. “David didn’t look too happy to have to leave you and follow her.”

“He’s angry at the illness too, he’ll have calmed down by the time he’s half way down the road,” she shrugged, “he’ll be able to calm Emma down too. They’re just too alike. But he’ll know what to do.” She didn’t just mean at that moment, but for when she wasn’t there, She knew that David would be there for their kids.

“How long…” She trailed off.

“A few days… no longer than a week…” She watched her stepmother open her mouth to say something again but Snow could tell what was on her mind by the determined look on her face. “No. I already told Emma and David. I’m not going to the Underworld, I’m not sticking around there. The only unfinished business is not having enough time with my kids, but I will never have enough time with them, that’s just how it goes. And I know that they’ll have their father. And… they’ll have you to depend on too.”

Regina took hold of Snow’s hand, though if anyone saw she would threaten them to never mention it, and smiled gently at her. “Of course they can…. I’m sorry, I thought that I wanted you gone, I mean I tried enough over the years, but I guess you’ve not been so bad…”

Snow let out breathless laughter. “You’ve not been so bad yourself.” She smirked as Regina looked semi-offended. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Regina snapped. “Denying you twenty-eight years with your child and husband? For almost killing her again while you were roommates, because I was terrified of losing Henry?” Regina raised her eyebrows, she wanted to make her hate her, that way it’d be easier to lose her.

“You know I don’t mean those things, and that trying to push me away won’t work, it never has.” Snow raised her eyebrow to counter her. “I wanted to thank you, for being such an amazing mom to Henry, I know you’d do anything for him, and he’ll need you a lot soon. He’s such a sensitive boy and he’s going to do you proud, thank you for raising my grandson. And for being a good friend to all my family, especially when Emma needs sense knocked into her.” Snow chuckled slightly. “And…. I wanted to thank you for being like a mother to me, even though it was only for a short time, it means the world to me that you saved me that day with the horse.” Snow paused for a minute. “And thank you for showing me what true love is, not my parents their marriage wasn’t really about that, and not you with my father,” she shared a look with Regina having only recently found out about another side of her father, “but the love you and Daniel had… it showed me it was possible. It gave me hope. If you hadn’t I don’t know if I would have carried on chasing my husband. Thank you.” Snow finished with tears in her eyes.

“It was my pleasure.” Regina shocked both herself and Snow by wrapping her in a hug, careful not to wake Neal. Regina cleared her throat, “If you tell anyone what just happened, I’ll tell them any, _and all,_ embarrassing stories I have about you and I have a lot of them.”

Snow smiled at the honesty in her voice. “I don’t doubt you would.” She smiled lovingly at Regina. She bit her lip.

“What do you need.” She rolled her eyes good naturedly as Snow looked confused. “I know your facial expressions by now, you think that I don’t know that that is the exact face you pulled when you were figuring out a way to ask your father for an aviary and birds to fill it with. Tell me what you need.”

“I wrote a letter for Neal, for when he’s older. I wrote one for Emma too, if she needs extra help, I’m going to give that one to David I have a feeling Em will need that sooner rather than later. But Neal won’t need me… to read words from me, until he’s a little older. I know that you won’t lose it, and he might not want to ask Emma or David too much in case it upset them. I know they’ll tell him stories about me, but could you too? I know you’ll be able to tell him things about me before I knew David, I don’t want him to think that I was perfect or for him to be unable to live up to some perfect illusion of what he thinks I was like.” She handed Regina an envelope with ‘Neal David’ on the front in Snow’s best hand writing.

“Of course I will.” Regina said but Snow was a little distracted.  

Snow looked down at Neal, tears were in her eyes as she was forced to think about yet another one of her children having to grow up without their mom. Her heart filled with the maternal worry for her children that fills all parents’ hearts, the one which never goes away. It only increased knowing that she wouldn’t be there to try and stop things for going wrong for her kids.

Regina and Snow sat for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company, Snow watched Neal and Regina watched Snow. 

“I still can’t believe that we went to hell for Guyliner but we can’t for you.” But she knew that they had only just made it out alive and that if they tried again there would be a chance that Snow’s kids would lose their father too. She sighed and stood up. “I best get back to Henry, he’s probably getting worried. I’ll see you in a little bit.” She tucked the envelope into her inside coat pocket. 

“Of course. I’ll talk to him in a little bit, and tell him all about this, would you mind sending Hook in first?”

Regina nodded, and started to walk out, as she was about to exit the room she looked at the woman who was once her step daughter.   
She could see cracks of the scared girl she had once known, however a brave face had prevailed in the fight for dominance, she was putting her family above the fear, as she always did. She _was_  Snow White, after all. 


	5. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow has a talk with Hook and Henry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this fic is not pro-Hook.

 

Hook didn’t bother to knock before entering, he reasoned that there were enough nurses, doctors, and family members going in and out that he didn’t think that it was strictly necessary. When he entered the room, he saw that there was a spare hospital bed placed inside for overnight visitors, as well as a comfortable looking couch, his frown deepened thinking that they could have sat on that instead of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. He found Snow watching Neal sleeping, and he gently coughed, when she didn’t look up he coughed again more forcefully. This time Snow looked up. “You wanted to see me?” He said intent on getting whatever it was that the queen wanted to talk about out of the way before going to find Swan… or drinking… preferably both…

Snow sighed gently as she looked away from her son and up at the pirate. He had a few cuts but now that the blood had cleared he was looking a lot better than he had under the red sky of the underworld. She couldn’t help but feel envious, he looked a bit rough but would be fine, she just looked tired and would most definitely not. “I wanted to talk to you, quickly, to thank you… You helped us out a great deal, in Neverland when you helped us save Henry and David, your knowledge of the place really helped us. And you brought Emma back from New York,” she knew that they would have found a way to get her home. they were trying to figure out how to get her back when she had knocked on the door, but they were grateful he had got her and gave her back her memories, “so thank you.”

Hook tilted his head down slightly, he wasn’t sure what he was meant to say to that, he felt like there was a ‘but’ coming. “You’ll be up and about soon enough, I’m sure.”

She remembered finding out that he was also the Dark One, that Emma was keeping herself isolated to save him, she couldn’t forget how easily he had turned. Perhaps it was that easy to give in. She was finding it pretty hard at the moment, she guessed it helped that there was no hope for her, and she would not be moving to the Underworld to have to battle the monsters they found down there and tempt her family to try and save her. She wouldn’t let them die on some suicide mission.   
 “Actually, I won’t.” She said taking a deep breath, she felt as though she was just repeating herself, this time it was a little easier, she didn’t want to throw Hook down to the bottom of the ocean anymore, but she still wasn’t his biggest fan so it wasn’t as intense as everyone else she had to tell, and had told so far. “There’s…” She swallowed and tried again. “There’s nothing anyone can do.”

Hook hung his head, he knew this was because he had ended up in the Underworld, Emma had felt guilty and her parents would have followed her anywhere to try and protect her, he balled his fist. If only she hadn’t turned him into the Dark One in the first place they wouldn’t be in this mess. Not only was Snow dying but Emma would blame him.

“Don’t blame yourself.” Snow told him firmly. “I don’t want that to be my legacy. What is in the past is in the past. We’re not even sure when the illness developed, it might have been in Hell, it might have been before that but we’re only now seeing its effects. We did it for Emma, she asked us for our help to get you, and I didn’t want my daughter to feel the guilt over your death for all her life…. She’ll still blame herself for mine though it wasn’t her fault, she’ll push you away, so if you love her you’ll give her any space she needs.”

“I think she’ll need the push to get out there, she might not like it, but she’ll be better in the long run.”

Snow’s mouth set into a thin line, her voice harboured no sign of anger, but it had taken on the stern order she used to use to address her army, or criminals. “Do not expect too much from Emma. I know her. She’ll need time to come to terms with this, she’ll try to push everyone away, she needs time with her family- David and Henry. She’ll try and shut herself off from everyone, and she can’t do that, but she won’t be emotionally ready for any kind of romantic love either. If you truly love her, like you say you do, you will give her the space she needs if she asks for it.

“With the greatest respect,” though it certainly did not sound like he intended any respect, “she will be mine. She is my true love just as Dave is yours. I know what is best for her. And, with respect, you will not be here to stop me from doing what I think is best. I won’t have her be on her own”

“I may not be around. But her father will be. I think that I underestimated you.” She watched him smile as though he had just heard her agree with him. “Not in a good way. Please send in my grandson, I need to talk to him before Emma and David get back.”

 

* * *

 

 

“There’s nothing we can do, is there?”

Snow looked up and saw a little boy there, his coat was fastened all the way up but she could see his scarf peeking out, his backpack was on but he had the storybook she had given him years ago clutched in his hands. She blinked. Henry looked like a teenager again, he was dressed in the same clothes he had been in the Underworld, he was biting his lip and pulling at the loose thread on his sweater cuff.

“My mom isn’t telling me anything, and my other mom went, gramps went after her but she looked really angry and scared… You’re…” His voice caught in his throat. “...You’re really sick aren’t you?”

She held her hand out towards him and he walked to the side of her bed, she pulled him into a side hug. He had always been so perceptive, she wasn’t sure if that made it easier on him, or harder. His voice reminded her of the Henry who she had met who had no hope. She didn’t think that a storybook would be able to fix it this time. “No sweetheart, there’s none at all, I’m so sorry.” And she meant it. It broke her heart that she had to be so truthful, that there was no hope, but like with Emma she needed to make sure that he understood what was going to happen, after all they weren’t being given time to get used to the news, plus she didn’t want Henry to be clinging to hope for something to save her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

“But…” He choked out, he may have suspected what she was going to tell him, but that didn’t mean that it hurt any less. “It’s not fair.” He buried his head against her.

“You know how proud I am of you?”

Henry shook his head. “I should have kept the authors pen, I could have used to it save you, this is all my fault.”

“Hey.” She said sharply yet lovingly. “This is in _no_ way your fault. Henry, you are so brave, and so clever, and the biggest hero out of all of us.” She pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “This isn’t your fault and you can’t blame yourself, at all. I’m so, _so_ proud of you Henry. You brought Emma back to me and brought us all out of the curse. You helped to convince Regina to turn good. You got Emma to believe in things, and to give David and I a chance instead of running from us. I am so proud of you and of the man you’re becoming, I love you so much. I’m so happy and grateful that you’re my grandson.” They sat in silence for a few minutes. “Henry, can you promise me something?”

Henry looked up, his eyes were rimmed red and he didn’t even pretend not to have been crying. “Anything.”

“Don’t give up on your belief and hope, I know it’ll be tempting, but please don’t.” She kissed his forehead. “You are allowed to be sad, but then you have to move on, you can remember me, in fact I definitely want you to do that, but then you need to let yourself be happy.” She knew that Regina would make sure he knew it but she still wanted to leave him with some grandmotherly wisdom.

Henry nodded his head to promise her and he threw his arms back around his grandma. “I don’t want you to go.”

She had nothing to say to that one. She didn’t want to go either. It physically hurt that she was leaving her family. It hurt so much that she could barely breathe. But she wasn’t getting a choice in the matter. “Do you want to stay here with me for a little while?” She asked him, he didn’t have to be asked again, he just curled up to her side, cuddling his grandmother as they both watched Neal wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we'll see Emma and David again!


	6. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma starts to experience some separation anxiety

David pulled up in the parking space outside of the loft, the closest one to the doors as it was still raining, and both he and Emma were already soaked. He looked over at his daughter with worry etched onto his face, she had been silent the entire car ride, her knees were pulled up to her chest and he had had to put her seatbelt on himself. He sighed and gently tapped her shoulder getting her attention for the first time. “Hey Em, let’s get inside, yeah?”

Emma frowned and looked out of the windscreen at the apartment building, then over at her father, still frowning. “But… But mom-“

“We’ll go back to the hospital soon,” he was just as anxious to get back, “but we both need to dry off, take quick showers so we don’t get sick, and we’ll grab some clothes for all of us, some things for your mom. Okay, kiddo?”

“But… I wanna see my mom…” She tried to stop it sounding like a whine but it was nearly impossible.

A ghost of a smile flickered on David’s face. “I know, baby, and you will, but we need to do this first. It’ll only be quick. Come on, let’s get out, we’ll run in, I don’t want you to get sick.”

Emma didn’t know what to do, so she just nodded her head and let her father make the plan, she watched him get out then walk to her side. She had forgotten to get out herself. She went to climb out but had forgotten about her seatbelt, so her father undid it for her. The rain pounded down on them as they ran, with David’s arm around her back ushering her in, but she didn’t feel a drop of it.

David let Emma into the building, he was worried about how she was having no reaction to the rain or him leading her, he kept his hand on her back and they began to climb up the stairs all the way to the top. Normally she’d complain that they lived right at the top, but this time she didn’t, make that _very_ worried. He fumbled for his keys and when he placed them into the door and unlocked it he realised that Emma was pressed against his side. When he glanced at her he saw her chewing on her thumb nail. He sighed gently, he had never seen her like this, the only thing close was when Neal died but this seemed to be worse. He let her into the loft and found that she stayed right by his side the entire time.   
  
“I’m going to take a shower first, okay, that way I can pack while you’re taking yours.” He said as he walked over to the closet in his and Snow’s room to grab a towel for Emma to dry off, he wasn’t expecting Emma to move with him but she did. He wrapped one of the towels around Emma and kissed her forehead before drying her hair off a bit with the other towel. He wasn’t used to her needing to be looked after, and that’s what she needed right now, she could barely cope with the idea of her mom dying he had no idea what she’d be like when…. He couldn’t think of that right now… he just couldn’t. He ruffled her hair with the towel then kissed her forehead again. He had been planning on getting her to take the first shower but he didn’t think she’d be okay with leaving him for too long, she was acting like a little kid, so he was treating her carefully. “Hey, can you do me a favour? While I’m in the shower can your mom a few pairs of pyjamas, the comfiest ones you can find and grab Neal’s diaper bag, it should be mostly packed but can you find him some toys?” He tried to think of as many things as possible he ask her to do, to keep her busy. “Get yourself some clothes too, pyjamas, whatever, just something you’re comfortable in- we’ll be staying overnight there.”

Emma nodded her head, she started to chew on her thumb hangnail again, she looked back up at her father. “Is mom gonna come home soon?”

David sighed gently and talked softly to her. “The doctors said that she’d be better staying in the hospital, they have pain medication for her-”

“-Is she in pain?” Emma asked panicked.

David pulled her into a hug. “Not when she has the medicine, baby.” His hand held the back of her head and he stroked her hair. “Your mom decided that she would be better off there, it’ll give her more time… we’ll take some things to make it seem homelier. Mom, me, Neal, and you are going to be staying in that room for a while, all of us together.” He wished with all of his heart that he could tell her that her mom was going to come home, that she’d have to rest but she’d be okay. But he wasn’t about to lie to his daughter about something that important. “Okay, I’m going to go take a shower, I won’t be long.”

Emma watched him move out of the room and heading across the loft towards the bathroom, a towel and change of clothes for himself in his hand, she wanted to move after him. She wasn’t sure why but she just wanted to follow him and not be apart. Her stomach turned with anxiety and she found herself calling after him. “You’ll be quick… right?”

David paused and turned to look at her. He offered her a sympathetic and loving smile. “I’ll be quick, Emma, I promise.”

Emma found herself rushing to grab things in her room, some pyjamas which were sweats and a t-shirt she had stolen from David’s closet once, it was from his cursed wardrobe a college he never went to. She grabbed another t-shirt, similar to the first but in a different colour, she grabbed some underwear and raced back down the stairs. Only a couple of minutes had passed since she had been down there and she was disappointed to hear the shower running. She went into her parents’ bedroom, she looked through her mother’s clothes and found a pair of pyjamas she knew her mother liked and wore often, she grew distracted by one of the photo frames on top of the dresser. It was a picture of her and her parents, they had gotten back from the Enchanted Forest, her and her mom, they were happy: she was happy. The memory hurt now.

The shower was still running but she couldn’t wait, she needed to be closer to at least one of her parents, she needed her dad. She kept a tight hold of the picture frame in her hands as she walked over towards the bathroom. She sank down and sat with her back against the bathroom wall, her knees were pulled up to her chest, and she chewed on her thumb hangnail as she stared down at the picture with tears welling in her eyes.

* * *

 

David was true to his word, within twenty minutes he had showered, shaved, brushed his teeth, and washed his hair. He opened the door and almost walked right past Emma. As soon as he spotted her he moved and crouched in front of her. She had tears on her face but she wasn’t even making a noise. “Em?” He said gently but he spotted the photo frame in her lap as she looked up at him. He sighed. He knew that she just wanted her mom, more than anything, she wanted her mom. He would give Emma the world, if he could, but he couldn’t give her that.

“I know, baby, I know.” He wiped away the tears from her cheeks. He spotted a trail bright red blood rolling down from where she had bitten through the skin by chewing on her thumb. He gently pulled it away from her mouth and he found himself tutting like his mother used to when he would get a cut when he was younger. “Your poor thumb. You have to be careful, kiddo, come on, we’ll clean this up I know your mom got some waterproof band aids in the bathroom.” He realised that she had looked back down at the photo in her lap. “I think that you’ve come up with the perfect idea, your mom would love it if we took that and a couple of others to go in her room. Come on, I’ll help you up,” he stood up and held his hand out to her he smiled when she took it, “you head into the bathroom and get the band aids out. Did you get some clothes to change into?”

“I left them on your bed,” Emma managed to croak out, “sorry.”

“It’s okay,” David smiled softly, “I’ll grab them for you.” He darted into the bedroom and grabbed them, he understood how hard this all was for Emma, and completely overwhelming, but he was also anxious to get back to Snow.

He quickly cleaned up Emma’s thumb and wrapped a waterproof bandaid around it. “Okay, that’ll heal soon, just no more chewing on your thumbs, yeah?”

Emma purposely didn’t nod, she hadn’t meant to tear her skin open, chewing her thumb was a very old habit that had spun out of being teased for sucking her thumb as a young child. She hadn’t done it in so long… since she was in the Enchanted Forest and had watched her mother….. But her mother had survived and she had stopped chewing on it. She wished it was as simple as getting fairy dust this time.

* * *

 

While Emma showered, David went about packing things for himself, his wife, and son. He ventured upstairs to Emma’s room, although she had moved into her own house during the dark curse she hadn’t actually spent any time there since she was ridden of the darkness. All her clothes and things were still in the loft, her _real_ home he thought, she just had new un-Emma like stuff in the new house. Even her baby blanket was still on her bed in the loft. He picked it up and smiled softly. He knew that it was important to Emma, and that she still used it to comfort herself, he knew she’d be embarrassed that he was packing it but she would need it, plus he knew that his wife liked to see her with it, to know that it was important to her.

He picked up some more things for himself and his family but he knew that he’d be back the next day to get anything else. He looked around helplessly to try and see if there was anything that Snow would take comfort in, but he knew she just wanted her family around her, so he found things which they could do together or reminded her of their family.  Soon enough Emma had showered and changed into her clothes she had picked out, he watched her wrap her leather jacket around herself like a shield, but when he looked at her face she just seemed like a kid. He grabbed the bag and wrapped his free arm around Emma as he led her out of the loft.

“It’s going to be okay, kiddo.” He promised, he saw how worried she was and how she was still clinging to him, but he knew it was an empty promise. Snow was going to die and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Nothing was going to be okay ever again.


	7. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Justanoutlaw reminded me that I hadn't added a chapter to this for a little while (mostly by giving me angst) And it turned out I had most of this already written out and had forgotten to finish it.... whoops?

When they walked into the hospital through the main entrance David and Emma practically bumped into Regina, Henry, and Killian. David looked a little surprised at Regina then down at Henry to see how he was. He knew right away that Snow had told Henry, the teen was clearly trying to stay strong, but he was breaking. He glanced down at his daughter and saw that she was looking even worse than she had at the apartment. She was holding onto his jacket with her hand and looking down at the ground not acknowledging anything.  

“We thought we’d pick up some food us all,” Regina broke the ice, “I’ve got Snow’s order down she said she wasn’t that hungry but she’s got to eat.” 

Despite everything David smiled at Regina’s words and tone, her words were so mothering yet she was clearly trying not to sound it when talking about Snow. 

“I was going to text you to ask what you both wanted.” Regina frowned at Emma, she wasn’t acting like she usually did, like an annoying impatient teen who couldn’t seem to read a room and therefore made a million jokes when the situation demanded the opposite. She looked back at David with concern. 

David opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted. 

“Swan, you should tag along, you and I could go to a pub instead.” Killian smirked putting aside the words Emma’s mother had said to him. 

Emma reacted for the first time, she just shook her head, but otherwise didn’t give any indication that she even heard him. She suddenly felt arms around her and Henry hugging her. She hugged him back out of muscle memory, not really able to put any real effort into it. 

“Oh come Swan, we’ll go and get a drink instead of all this…” He gestured around vaguely. “I know you could do with a drink and a bit of space.” 

David could not believe the pirate was trying to control Emma right here, right now. “Hook,” the firm voice he used as the Prince Regent came back to him instantly, “we’ll see you later if you come back with Regina and Henry, with the food. Emma needs to talk to and see her mom.” He levered him with a look before looking down at Emma and Henry, he ruffled his grandsons hair lovingly before giving Regina his and Emma’s order, she didn’t even object to him doing so, and she was still holding onto him. His heart would have broke at that if it wasn’t already broken. 

 

* * *

  
  
  


When Emma and David got to Snow’s room, Emma stayed as close to David as humanly possible, and for once Emma Swan was completely silent. 

David saw Snow’s face change to relief when she saw Emma, typical Snow to be more worried about someone else than herself, but there was clearly still worry there and he didn’t blame her, Emma was acting more like Neal that her usual self. He wrapped his arm around her back his hand on her shoulder. “Emma and I thought that we’d bring back clothes for the four of us, didn’t we Em?” David said as though they hadn’t split up because Emma had stormed out approximately an hour earlier. Emma said nothing. He started to walk over to the occupied hospital bed taking Emma with him. They stopped about a foot away from Snow, Emma tucked into David’s side still. 

In Snow’s arms Neal started to wiggle, having caught sight of his sister and father, held his arms out to the pair, not fussy about who took him, and started to babble- his two new things. 

“How about we do a swap?” David suggested, bringing much needed warmth and laughter to the room. He slipped Neal from Snow’s arms, grinning at his son, and pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

Despite all of David’s smiles there was a sadness in his eyes which only Snow seemed to notice, but they would have to talk later when the kids were asleep, Snow decided. She reached out a slightly cautious hand to her daughter, relief filled her when Emma didn’t shrug it off, or move away. “Oh!” She yet out what was practically a yelp. “Emma you’re freezing!” She pulled her closer to the bed, then pulled her so she was sat on the bed, she wrapped one of the hospital blankets around her in the way which made her hug her slightly. 

Emma burst into tears, loudly. “I’m sorry mom! I’m sorry!” 

Snow immediately wrapped her in a hug, holding her tight, as big fat tears rolled down her chill reddened cheeks. “It’s okay baby,” she rocked her slightly automatically like she did with Neal, “it’s okay.” Now Emma was clinging onto her instead of David. “I’m sorry too.” She whispered. 

Emma’s sobs continued, she didn’t care about what she looked like, or that a nurse could walk in and see her cuddling her mom and sobbing. She just didn’t care. “I don’t want to lose you mommy.” She cried into her mother’s shoulder. Her sobs were distorting her words, so much so Snow could barely hear her. But she heard that long longed-for word. Tears came to Snow’s eyes as she heard her daughter call her what she should have called her three decades ago.

“You won’t.” Snow remembered what her own mother had said to her, many years previously. “I will always be in your heart. I will always watch over you, I promise.” She rocked her daughter in her arms. She didn’t know which of her children had it harder, Neal would never get to know her, but Emma had known her and would lost her. “I would give anything to stay with you and Neal and your father, but this is just… it’s just one of those things, I wish it wasn’t, I wish I could just…” She trailed off but they both knew what she had been going to say. They sat like that for some time, mother holding daughter, daughter clinging onto mother, and father sat on the spare bed playing with the son trying to hid his own tears. 

Emma eventually settled down and sat up slightly, she didn’t try to hide or even look embarrassed as her dad sent her a loving smile and Snow wiped her tears with the pads of her thumbs. 

Snow smiled how much Emma had changed since she had first met her, she wasn’t sure if that Emma would have even entered the room, she certainly wouldn’t have been practically attached to David Nolan’s side.   
Snow reminded herself that she had been planning on saying to her daughter, she had been trying so hard to keep it upbeat, she wanted her loved ones to only have good memories of her, and to remember her telling them all of the important things. And to thank them all. She carefully moved her daughter so that she was still holding onto her but able to look into her eyes. “I’m so proud of you, my Emma.”

“But I haven’t done anything.” Emma frowned. 

David moved to sit in the chair beside Snow’s bed with Neal, as he played, he wanted to be closer to his wife than the other hospital bed was, as he moved he dropped a kiss onto his daughter’s head as a sign of comfort. 

“You’ve done everything Emma. You are the person who first made me a mother, and the one who stayed my friend during the curse, you became an amazing kind hearted woman all by yourself. You’re determined, and beautiful inside and out, you’re incredibly smart, and amazing mother and sister. And most of all you’re my perfect daughter, you are not a perfect person or hero but you  _ are _ perfect as my daughter, thank you so much for letting me inside your walls.” Tears brewed in Snow’s eyes as she brought her daughter into another hug. “I love you more than you’ll ever know baby.” Snow felt her daughter’s grip tighten on her for a second, she would let her hold on if she wanted to, eventually Emma pulled back slightly. Snow brushed her daughter’s tear stained cheeks with the pads of her thumbs. “And I won’t hesitate to haunt you if you start giving your dad trouble.” She joked with a breathy laugh.

David, and even Emma, laughed at that.

“I think someone else wants their mommy, too.” David chuckled as his son tried to escape from his hold, heading for his mother and his sister. 

“Come here, my little buddy.” Snow smiled holding her hands out for her son, and David pressed a kiss to her cheek as he placed him into her arms.

Emma reluctantly went to put her legs over the side of the bed and push herself down to the floor but she stopped when Snow placed her hand on Emma’s arm and spoke.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She saw Emma look at her in sheepish surprise, like she really hadn’t expected her mom to let her stay on her bed. She sighed gently, despite all of this time it was obvious that Emma didn’t fully expect to be put first even by them, she just wished that she had more time. Her voice softened. “There’s enough room on the bed for the three of us, sweetheart.” 

  
  


* * *

 

Emma stayed sat on the bed through the afternoon, as Regina, Henry, and even Hook came back with the bags of food, and as they ate their feast from Granny’s, Emma needed some prodding from her parents to actually eat, which was beyond worry even in the circumstances. She stayed sat just curled into her mom’s side as the afternoon passed into evening, she wasn’t joining in with the talking and joking like the rest of them, in fact Snow and David weren’t sure that she was even properly listening to the stories which they were all telling. She only seemed to notice when one of them would move, or a nurse would walk in to take observations or adjust Snow’s pain meds, at which point Emma would look downright panicked. 

Snow and David, as always, exchanged silent conversations throughout the day, but the longer Emma stayed like this the longer the silent exchanges occurred.

Eventually David leant over his kids’ heads and kissed his wife, not allowing him to start to count how many kisses with her he had left. “Hey Em?” He said when he pulled out of it. “Come with me for a little while, I need your help.” 

Emma went to get up but then stopped. “But…”

“It’s okay, Emma,” Snow interrupted with an encouraging smile, she squeezed her closer for a moment before letting go, “go with your dad for a few minutes.” 

Emma reluctantly obeyed her mother.

David leant down and kissed his wife again. “We’ll be back in about twenty minutes.” He said quietly before straightening and looking at his daughter. “Em, grab a jacket, you’ll catch a cold.” 

Emma rolled her eyes but she grabbed the hoodie David had been wearing off of the back of the chair before leading the way out of the room. 

“Perhaps you should have been a bit more specific about whose jacket, mate.” Hook smirked. 

“Yeah probably.” He said sounding distracted. As he grabbed his leather jacket he shared another look with his wife. They both knew that when Emma was desperately seeking comfort she’d borrow things of theirs; she’d often take a shower using her mother’s shower gel and borrow a pair of her fluffy socks, or a particular grey woollen sweater, more often than not she’d grab one of Charming’s plaid shirts, or his one of his hoodies, she had fully stolen his old college tee. “Erm…” He scrubbed his hand through his short hair, his eyes went to the window of the room, looking at Emma staring down at the floor, “I’m gonna go grab some hot chocolates from Granny’s, does everyone want one? Or I can get coffee?” 

Hook looked out of the window at Emma, she had barely looked at them since being back, and she definitely hadn’t talked to him. He wondered for a moment if Snow would have felt David watching her through the window and looked up… probably. “I think I’ll retire for the night, if it’s all the same.” He said smiling at David who didn’t seem to be paying attention. 

“And I think I’ll be taking Henry home too,” Regina looked down at her son who was yawning as he leant against her side, she looked back up at Snow, “we’ll be back tomorrow though.” 

Hook felt a little trapped, he’d look like a dick if he didn’t say the same now, he wasn’t too sure if Emma would be back to herself by the next day, perhaps she needed a few more. “Aye.” He said instead. 

“That’s understandable.” Snow smiled and squeezed David’s hand gently bringing him back into the room. “Thank you both.” 

It was not certain whether she was talking to Regina and Hook or Regina and Henry.  

“Thanks guys.” David said hurriedly. He stole another kiss from his wife before leaving.

  
  


* * *

 

 

Emma let her father shepherd her though the long twisting corridors of the hospital, going up and down in elevators, and cutting through different departments mostly closed for the night. She only came to a stop when she realised that they were by the main entrance and that David was planning on leading her out. She felt the pressure of his hand on her back increase then return to normal, as he too was brought to a stop. She looked up at him, her eyebrows drawn together in a confused frown. “Wait, where are we going?” 

“We’re just going to pop to Granny’s to pick up some hot chocolate, before she closes, it’s much better than the stuff out the machines here.” David watched his daughter looked back between him and the way they had just come. Panic filled every line on her face. 

“But-!” 

David stopped her by pulling her into a big hug. “Hey, it’s okay, mom will be here when we get back, okay? Mommy’s going to be here, it’s going to be okay.” He knew it would not be okay, not really, but just a little while longer it would be closer to okay than it probably ever would again.he kissed the top of her head. He also did not want to leave Snow, but Emma needed time away from the beeping machines, and David needed to tell the rest of Snow’s family the news 

  
  



	8. From Hell to Hell - Chapter 8

Emma sat in the middle seat of the truck as David drove, it meant she couldn’t lean against the door or rest her head against the window, but she felt the tug in her stomach she needed to be close to her dad. 

David felt completely useless, he couldn’t make his daughter feel better, he couldn’t stop his son growing up motherless, he couldn’t stop his wife from dying. He wished they had never even saved the pirate, maybe that made him selfish or a bad guy, but he would do it in a heartbeat, but he couldn’t as his wife would not like that.

The streets in Storybrooke were quiet, calm, peaceful, and blissfully unaware. He knew Ruby and Granny would be closing up soon, maybe a couple of wait staff would still be on cleaning up and filling the last few orders, but for all intents and purposes it would be quiet. Ruby and Granny were Snow’s family, her surrogate sister and grandmother, they needed to know about Snow. He had to somehow find the words to say that his wife would never go into Granny’s again, that she would never be going home again, that she might last a few more days but no more…

The truck came to a slightly jerky stop as he pulled up outside of the diner. He looked down at his daughter and realised that she had barely noticed that they were even there. “Hey, Kid?” She started and looked up at him. “It’s okay.” He soothed. “We’re here, we’re at Granny’s, you coming in? You can have a milkshake while I talk to Granny and Rubes.”

Emma shrugged her shoulders slightly, for once she didn’t really want to have a milkshake, but hopefully that meant she wouldn’t have to hear her dad say the words again… That being said, she would rather stay with her dad, right next to him, that way she wouldn’t lose him. “I’m comin’ in.” 

She followed him out of the car and into the diner. As soon as they were in there both she and David were practically bowled over with hugs from the Lucas women. 

“We heard you were back!” Ruby grinned letting go of David and pulling her would-be-goddaughter into a big hug. “God, I’m so glad you’re both safe, I can’t believe you went to Hell!” She held Emma out from her, assessing her, it was only then that she realised how quiet and sad Emma was acting… and David wasn’t acting much better. “David?” She said slowly and quietly.

David cleared his throat. “We, erm…” He scrubbed his hand through his short hair. “Can we get Sara or someone to get Em a milkshake, we  _ really,” _ his voice broke and he forced it to become normal again “ we really need to talk.”

His serious tone made even Granny silent. 

“Y-Yeah.” Ruby’s heart was beating faster, she had no idea what was going on, but it had to be serious. David was one of her best friends and he just looked so broken, the only part of him which wasn’t broken was worried, worried probably wasn’t a strong enough word, but he was just beyond worried, that was clear in the way that he looked at Emma that it was her who he was worried about. 

“Dad-”

“-Em, you wait here for our order, and drink your shake. I’m just going to talk to to Granny and Rubes.” He cradled the back of her head and kissed her forehead. 

 

* * *

 

Emma was not happy to be seperated from her father, not even a little, she sat at the island not listening to Sara trying to talk to her, instead she drew shapes on the counter with the water which had rolled down from the glass she was half heartedly and distractedly drinking the chocolate shake from, and she watched her father talk with Granny and Ruby through the kitchen hatch. She watched Ruby and Granny both burst into tears and pull David into huge tight hugs. She tore her eyes away and looked down at the island and her tears quickly joined the water already on the table. 

 

* * *

 

 

David sighed heavily, he was Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders, a dragon slayer without a dragon to slay: A hero who could save no one in this story.

“How are the kids?” Granny asked quietly watching her friend staring at Emma from where they had stood, when they eventually stopped crying, she would cry more later one when she was alone in her bed. 

“How’s Emma?” Ruby added in, she could sense a lot of her emotions even from where she stood, if she chose to use her werewolf senses. She was trying not to choke on Emma’s despair.

David opened his mouth a few time but kept closing it, he couldn’t bring himself to say that she would be fine, he wasn’t sure if he could believe that. “I don’t, I don’t know if she’s going to be able to get through this.” He admitted. 

  
  


* * *

 

David walked back over to his daughter. He placed his hands on her arms as he stood behind her, rubbing them gently as they waited for the hot chocolates. He talked quietly to Ruby and Granny, arranging for them to visit Snow the next day, first thing, he knew Snow would need to see them.

Emma felt completely stupid, but, for whatever reason, she felt better with him close to her, it made her feel like a little kid, but no matter how much she tried to get the feeling to stop, it persisted. She was losing her mom- she needed her dad.

 

* * *

  
  


Eventually the hot chocolates came and he and Emma carried them out of the diner, Emma held tight to them as David drove, she sat in the middle seat again, as close to him as possible.

 

* * *

 

David wanted to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere, but he couldn’t do that to her, they had all thought Snow wasn’t going anywhere too. So when they pulled up at the hospital he kissed her forehead again. “It’s going to be okay… It’s not. I know it’s not.” He corrected with a sigh. “But we have to be brave…” He sighed again and shook his head, he kept saying it wrong. “No, you don’t have to be brave, just, just be here with us, with me and mommy and Neal.” he cupped her cheek. “You’re always so brave, kiddo, I’m sorry that you have to be, you don’t have to be right now you just be you. I’m… I’m just so sorry. I’m here, you’ve got me.” He thought that he was a poor substitute for Snow, for having a dad  _ and _ a mom, but he would be there. He brushed away the tears that fell from her green eyes before they climbed out of the truck and went back to Snow White. 

  
  
  



	9. From Hell to Hell- Chapter 9

Regina and Henry were the first visitors of the day, David had to hide a smile as his step-mother-in-law came bustling in with Henry in tow, the former telling the nurses and doctors that the visiting hours didn’t apply to them as they weren’t merely visitors. Snow was awake, she was an early riser, she always had been, and she was more than happy to talk to Henry, having him sit on her bed with her, Regina moved to the side of the room with David under the pretence of giving him something from her purse but actually was asking how Snow, Neal, Emma, and even David himself, was.

 

* * *

 

 

Ruby and Granny were Snow’s second visitors, Granny did what she had rarely ever done before, and left someone else in charge of the diner for the entire day.

Emma actually awoke to the sound of them arriving, Ruby’s happy voice full of love and Granny’s soothing voice full of care, and of course the smell of breakfast for all of them. Emma realised that she had fallen asleep on her mom’s bed the night before and that now she was waking up on the spare hospital bed in the room, the nurses had set it up for them if when they realised how big the family was, Emma felt a little ridiculous realising that her brother was just waking up beside her. 

David was the first one to notice her waking, he had been so worried about her, almost as worried as he had been about Snow, he saw his wife worrying too, they knew their daughter was not coping, and that she had barely slept. David had only moved her from Snow’s bed when Snow had started to be in more pain.    
“Hey, kid, breakfast is up.” He watched her sitting up, rubbing her eyes, her hair was wild like Snow’s had been when they had been bandits in the Enchanted Forest. 

“I’m not hungry.” 

Snow frowned, overhearing Emma and David, pausing her conversation with her best friend. “Honey, you need to eat.” Her voice was loving but stern.

And then a miracle happened, Emma did as she was told: She sighed and shrugged her shoulders slightly. “Okay, I guess I could eat, if it’s Granny’s.” She automatically sent a small charming grin towards the older lady whose name lent itself to all the food which came from the diner. 

“She’s so like her father.” Granny said to Snow but didn’t bother to lower her voice

Snow turned her head towards her daughter and smiled warmly, she was a touch paler than she had been the day before, but there was a twinkle in her eye as she looked at her daughter. “She is, isn’t she?” Her voice was full of pride.

Henry moved from Snow’s side to sit at the bottom of the bed near Snow’s blanketed feet. “Here, mom, now there’s space for you too.” Henry smiled just as warmly at Emma as Snow did. 

Emma didn’t hesitate to move, she led her head on her mom’s shoulder as Snow wrapped an arm around her, Emma had been so scared to sleep the night before in case when she woke her mom was no longer there. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay, honey, the pain relief they’re giving me is helping, and having you close by.” She tugged her closer as she carefully chose her words, she couldn’t use the wrong ones and let Emma suddenly believe that she was getting better or something. “What are you going to have, I think Granny’s made pretty much everything possible, there’s plenty to eat.”

David scooped Neal up and placed him in the big hospital crib a nurse had brought in for them, then went to go and help Granny and Ruby dishing it all out, but both ladies gave him a look. He held up his hands in surrender. “Jeez, I promise to never offer help again.”

“Good, now, go sit down, Farm-boy.”

David pretended to salute. “Yes sir, Wolfie.”  

Emma couldn’t help but laugh at the pair who had fallen back into their Enchanted Forest teasing. 

“They used to always be like this, they used to tease and prank each other all the time.” Snow told her trying to look disproving but even she couldn’t hide her smile. 

“She pushed me into a lake!” David protested dropping onto the couch beside the bed. “Come to think of it, so did your mother.”

“You deserved it.” Ruby passed a plate of food to Snow.

“You’re the one who fell in love with me anyway.” Snow smirked as though she had somehow tricked him. She leant closer to him and he closed the distance, the two smiling even as they kissed. 

“Urgh, can’t you two stop kissing when I’m right here?” Emma grumbled. 

“Us doing this is the reason you are here-“ 

“Lalalala!” Emma covered her ears as she blocked out her mother’s words. 

Everyone in the room laughed at Emma’s childish reaction but Granny gave her a sympathetic smile and passed her a plate of food. 

“At least Granny’s nice to me.” 

“Aww, poor baby.” David cooed mockingly, grinning when Emma stuck her tongue out in retort.

 

* * *

 

 

The mood in the room lifted and as they ate they all shared memories, Emma and Henry contributed some of their own, but mostly they listened.

 

* * *

 

 

Regina shared stories about Snow when she was younger, before the rest of them knew her, even then Regina couldn’t fully hate Snow. And Ruby and David shared stories of how they all met, and some of their lesser known quests and adventures, the room was filled with a whole lot of laughter.

 

* * *

  
  


Emma took note of any and all looks of pain on her mother’s face and whenever she did she either cuddled closer or moved away, whenever she did move away Snow would hug her closer. And that’s how they sat for most of the day, Emma at Snow’s side, Neal on her or her husband’s lap, and Henry at the foot of the bed.

 

* * *

  
  


Emma fell asleep before Ruby and Granny left, she was exhausted but a little calmer than the day before, despite being calm she was just as clingy to David and Snow. Regina, at Snow’s request, forced Henry to go home, he needed to sleep in his own bed, and they would be back at the hospital early the next morning anyway. 

 

* * *

 

David waited an hour to make sure that Emma was asleep before picking her up and placing her on the other hospital bed just a few feet away from Snow’s. He tucked her in, kissed her forehead, and placed the sides up incase she decided to roll out of the bed during the night. Then he gently took Neal from his wife’s arms and placed him into the hospital crib at the foot of Emma’s bed, like his sister he tucked him in and kissed his head, he quietly wished them both sweet dreams.

He settled down on the bed beside Snow, place his hand on her cheek as she curled closer to him, he gently kissed her. “It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay anymore, you never had to pretend with me.” 

Snow hid her face against his chest and allowed herself to cry, out of physical pain, and out of the knowledge that she had perhaps a few more days and nights like this with her family. She wanted more. 

  
  



	10. From Hell to Hell- Chapter 10

The next few days Snow spent with her family and talking to her friend who had heard the news and came to the hospital to visit her. 

 

The dwarves came for an hour filling the room with noise and were yelled at by Snow when Leroy tried to blame David for it, she tried to assure David that it wasn’t his fault but she wasn’t too sure that he believed her, she could also tell that Emma was blaming herself and tried to convince her too, but Emma was like David. Some of the other moms from Mommy and Me visited, offering their help and crying a lot, a few of them spared looks at Emma and tried to avoid holding their babies near her, but Snow kept just a tight a hold on her daughter as she was her son. She was happier to see Ella, Aurora, Thomas, and Philip, Tiny visited, as did Marco and August, Archie offered to talk to her and she accepted, he also offered to talk to Emma, Henry, Regina, and David but got a ‘maybe later’ from all and a ‘hell no I don’t do shrinks’ from Emma. After that Ariel brought a much needed boost to the mood in the room.

 

* * *

 

Granny made sure to send a delivery of food with Ruby every day, Regina and Henry were always there and started to stay over, often joined by Robin, Hook turned up one day as though he had never even been gone, though when he realised that Emma wasn’t planning on leaving to grab ‘some air and a drink’ with him he left claiming he needed to heal some more. 

 

* * *

 

 

The more the days progressed the sicker Snow began to look and act, despite her obviously trying to hide it, she lost her appetite and she found herself sleeping less, she didn’t want to, she couldn’t lose any more time with them. 

David found himself wishing, slightly, that Emma was like Neal- too young to understand what was going on, he was happy playing with Snow and was unaware that she was acting any different. Emma clearly did. She noticed everything. It only made her cling closer to Snow, and whenever David literally fought her to get her out of the room for a little break she would cling to David, if he was not there she just tried to get back to her mom’s room as soon as possible. She would only fall asleep next to her mom and David would move her later on once she had been asleep for a while. She always protested that she was not hungry and would only eat a little at a time and only if David and/or Snow convinced her to. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  


Snow looked down at her daughter, she looked so young as she slept, so carefree, she had always meant for her daughter to be freer than she had been, she had failed, despite her best intentions. She ran a shaky hand through her daughter’s blonde curls.    
Emma had let her hair air dry after taking a shower in Snow’s en-suit, now she reminded Snow, David, Ruby, and Regina, more than ever of a younger Snow.    
She saw an eyelash on her daughter’s cheek and she gently brushed it away without wishing on it. 

David stood watching his wife as she stared intently at their daughter, he wondered what she was thinking, and tried to push away his observations of how weak she looked. He could almost see her fading away. 

David moved to pick Emma up and move her as he always did, but he felt a cold hand on his own, and he looked up meeting her green eyes with his own blue ones. 

“Leave her here, please? I want her near me. Just a little longer.” 

“Of course.” He dropped a kiss to her forehead, his lips barely touching the skin. He started to fuss with the blankets, covering Emma with a couple then fussing with Snow’s. “Are you too cold? Too hot? Or hungry? I think we have some leftovers or I can ask a nurse-”

“-Just… Just sit with me? Please.”

David abided by her wishes, and sank into the chair beside the bed, on the other side of her than Emma was on. He picked up her cold, slightly blue, hand into his and brought it to his lips, gently kissing her. 

“I’ve been trying to say thank you to everyone over the past couple of days, I thought it’d be easier than goodbyes.” Snow admitted to him. Her voice was quiet, she didn’t want to wake any of the others in her room, Ruby, Regina, or Henry. She realised that David looked older, aged by the stress, and the fear of the inevitable. She looked down at Emma then a couple of feet past him at her son sleeping peacefully in his crib. They had  _ made _ them. She looked back up at her husband’s handsome face. “All week I’ve been trying to think of what to say to you, the perfect goodbye-”

“-No, it’s not time-”

“It’s okay.” She soothed like she would with Emma or Neal, he quietened but his sea blue eyes leaked tears, which he didn’t bother to wipe. “And I started to try think of one for you-”

“-You don’t have to thank me for anything.”

“-that’s okay, because I can’t. There’s just too much to thank you for. You are my  _ everything _ , you saved me so many times in so many ways, and you taught me about hope and faith. You gave me the two most  _ perfect _ children in any world, and for that I could never thank you enough. You’re an amazing dad, I’m glad that if I have to leave them, I get to leave them with you, because you’ll be doing an amazing job, even when you think you’re messing up.”

David let out a little chuckle despite his face being overwhelmed with tears rolling down then falling from his face. “I wish it was you staying, you’re so much better at all this than me, I, I don’t know how to go on without you.”

“Just…  _ go on _ .” Snow insisted. “Keep going. I promise that we  _ will _ meet again one day.” There was something about that statement which somehow felt truer than all of the rest of the words she had said the past week. She pulled him in for a kiss, it did not look perfect mixed in with their tears and shaky hands a noises as they tried to stop themselves crying, but it was the most perfect kiss they had ever shared. “I love you, Charming.” She whispered when she finally pulled away.”

David let out another choked laugh. “I  _ do _ have a name, you know?” He was cradling her face in his hands. 

“Charming suits you better.” 

“I love you so much.” He did not know how he would do this. But he would have to. He didn’t have a choice, not with their kids, who were so much like Snow he was sure it would hurt even more. 

They kissed again. And again. Desperate and bittersweet. Trying to fit a lifetime of kisses into a short amount of time. 

 

* * *

  
  


After talking to his wife about what they would be doing the next day, who would be visiting, joking about cheating at cards, and teasing about telling certain stories the other would not want shared, David eventually fell asleep. He sat as close to the bed as he could in his armchair, his hand held onto his true love’s, anchoring her to this realm.    
But Snow refused to close her eyes. 

 

* * *

  
  


In the early hours she looked around the room. Her eyes drifted around at the people sleeping peacefully there, Ruby uncomfortable asleep in a chair, Regina and Henry cuddled on the couch in the corner, Neal asleep in his crib gently snoring, Emma asleep in the bed beside her, no longer holding onto her, she had rolled over in her sleep. They finally reached David, her love, she stared at him for a few seconds before allowing her eyes to drift to the big window. 

The sky was set on fire by a spectacular orange glow, passionate fuchsias danced between the deep purple clouds who threatened the chance of a nice day, which had previously been promised by the upmost sliver of blue. 

As the light of the sun grew, Snow’s light faded. 

 

She slipped her hand out of her husband’s loosened grip.

 

And Snow White, took her last breath.   


  
  



End file.
